Plans In Security

Caraline has taught me so much in so little time. I have learned how to live for myself, I recreated myself in the 7 days I had planned to do so in. I now live, a newer version I the self I once was. I am not entirely stable in this new mind as of yet but I will continually involve myself in new conquests thus experiencing newer, greater things with myself. I was always correct, you are the only one that can save yourself; No one in the world cares. For me to live my doctrine and finally love myself however, I had to, and must continue to explore the phylosophical reasons for me to exist. As I have always, I sit and think in order to survive, I live to think. This girl though, this lesbian, has taught me a skill that I had never explored. While trapped in my depression, basic lifestyle functions had ceased to continue and I became far too involved in seemingly unproductive phylosophy in the midst of such black emotions.
I assure you she is of an amazing intelligence level. She has wit and slyness that would tempt the Satan himself. The most effeciant human I had ever met, even still am I learning of her techniques. Her past is riddled with odd occurances, though nothing as severe as to create a dent in the psyche. As far as I am aware, her only noticable childhood malacy is her parent's neglection of her as a daughter. Although her personality is very complex, her general attitudes and actions correspond with that of lovelessness, paturnally and maturnally. I had once hoped to show her platonic love that could fill in those empty spaces. She does not however, want such a thing from me.
Her swift and continuous lifestyle had kept me in awe for such a long time. during rebuilding however, I realized how useful and perfect this skill could be to me. It was suprisingly easy to incorporate her lifestyle into my own. I have learned this indespensible skill from her and I am finally raping the world to feel alive. I sincerely wish this would have been introduced to me sooner.
She has not however, learned what I am perfect at. I think deeply, far more than I reasonably should. She does not understand the perfect feeling of philosophy and perhaps never will unless she spends the time to learn why the world exists.

I must be able to let her go,
Love doesnt belong here,
just the lessons,
Dean was correct,
and so am I.